Watching the Bucket Fill

When my daughter was still in utero, I read a quote that said, "The days may be long but the years are short." During those early restless months (years for us, actually) it was easy to feel like I was on a hamster wheel. A hamster wheel that stopped abruptly during each milestone, only for a second, to remind me that my little one was growing and needing me less and less. As much as I rejoiced at the thought of regaining a pinch of freedom, it made me sad to see it happen so quickly.

As we approached our one-month "Dia-versary" I couldn't help but think of that quote. Only this time it feels more like the days are weeks and the weeks feel like years. In such a small period of time, we have been thrust into the world of thinking like a pancreas and everything that comes with it. All of my emotions come to a head when I take a peek at our sharps container. The webs of lancets, pen needles and syringes completely make the bottom of the container invisible and heartbreaking. One month, I thought, ONE month! I began to think of all the little strips that had gone into the trash, all those strips containing the blood of my little six-year-old girl. My little six-year-old girl who takes it all in stride and who continues to shine her light through all of this, she has sustained us. I pray every night for a cure, less painful ways to manage it and for God to make me as strong as Luna. So here we are, folks, one month in.

Syringe for daily, slow acting insulin//clear pin needle caps for rapid acting insulin, given before each meal over 15 carbs// blue plastic pieces are lancets for the seemingly endless blood sugar checks.